Batista SMASH~! May 11 Rawblog
Live from Columbus! Just up the road from my hometown.
Randy Orton(-!) and Legacy start the show off. Starting the timer now… orton says peeps who pay to see him are losers, he’s going to end the Mcmahon era…Oh hey, it’s that video package of Orton crushing Shane’s ankle, bet we’ll see that again tonight.
Randy talks about Vickie’s “no contact clause” between himself and Batista and out comes Batista to a loud crowd chant!!! Randy offers Batista a spot on Legacy. Muey generous! Even better, Randy wants Batista to be his enforcer.
Batista said that while Randy’s offer was nice, he didn’t want to be his enforcer because he doesn’t like, he despises, he LOATHES! Randy
Vickie is not so hawt this week, all that normally gorgeous hair looks like a wig. She makes a handicap match of Rhodes and DiBiase vs Batista for a chance at another handicap match in the main event. It was all screwy like last week. Now….then we go to ads and come back to the match in progress. I’ll have rewind this to be sure but I think the stip is if Batista beats Legacy he get’s Randy one on one? Anyway, DiBiase and Rhodes target Batista’s hamstring then Rhodes goes for a chair. Batista takes the chair away just in time for the ref to see him and DQ him. So tonight it’s batista versus all 3 members of Legacy. “Fine.” Batista said.
Ads then a diva tag match. Guh, I heart Marsye, she’s really good as a heel. Mickie and Kelly Kelly get the win.
Whoa- goffy looking Josh Matthews backstage interviewing Randy -Uh oh, Ted has news, Cody has gone missing and Batista is the prime suspect. Dundun dunnnnn! Ads.
We’re back and they’re showing recaps of Big Show and Cena from last week. Now Chavo blowing smoke up Vickie….Zoned out but now the announcers are running down the PPV and back to Legacy backstage. They find Cody only to have Ted taken out by Batista! Batista is the stealthy assassin tonight!
Kennedy is coming back. Whoo. Carlito and Primo…nope, just Carlito is coming out now and THE BRIAN KENDRICK!!!! TBK get a win and another week of mic work -*loves*
At this point I had to leave the TV to go answer the door. I got back to the screen in time to see Cody patroling the backstage area where the stealthy assasin Batista attacks him from behind then locks him in the zamboni room to do more damage.
I’m zoned out again except the times I look up and try to figure out some of the more obscure fan signs on screen. Installing new do-dads to my IM program and chatting about stuffs as I wait for the main event.
Batista’s not even playing around in this main event. He signals at his entrance that he’s going to break Randy in half then gets to the ring and starts the breaking. Because he can’t win the belt tonight Batista goes for damage instead. I dig this tactic because it makes sense. Batista goes for a chair and gets himself DQ’d but he doesn’t care! OUCH! he uses the chair to beat the stuffing out of Orton then goes for the ring steps. Oh Noes! the steps aren’t cooperating and Batista is angry! He kicks and kicks the steps, finally dislodging them then heaves the heavy steps into the ring. Works Orton over with the chair again until DiBiase and Rhodes show up. Batista doesn’t care! he fights them both off then THROWS~! the steps out of the ring at a scrambling Randy Orton. “You’re done!” Batista roars as Raw goes off the air.
-Post Raw second thoughts: I ended up rewatching the show because I was in and out during the live broadcast. On the second watching I figured out what was weird but good about Raw. Batista and Orton carried the entire show. Like, no Shane or McMahon silliness, Cena and his goofiness was all confined to the Miz/Big Show angle. Sure it was akward at parts, Raw, but …wow, BATISTA and ORTON carried the show. Like, that’s pretty exciting.
